Like when you’ve just been to a memorial for a 14 year old who OD’d.
And the next day you see another group of 14 year olds roaming the streets. And you fear it’s only a matter of time until trouble finds them.
Like when you’ve found a program that could really help a family.
And the next day you’re still waiting for them to return your call. And the next day. And the one after that…
Like when you’ve made that resolution to not go on a cookie binge again this week.
And the next day you find yourself wiping away crumbs from a mouth full of chocolately goodness.
Like when you’ve felt a connection with God. A nearness that has been lacking of late.
And the next day that same connection feels not quite so near.
Like when you’ve resolved to do better, to be better.
And the next day you find yourself choosing the same all-to familiar paths.
Like when you’ve decided you believe in yourself; you’re finally self-secure.
And the next day one word, one look has you stuck in a tailspin, endless circles of self-doubt.
Like when you’ve finally felt like you have a plan.
And the next day the rug gets pulled from under you.
Sometimes you just need a win.
And when it comes, no matter how small, it’s cause to stop. Cause to celebrate. To cherish. And oh, how good it feels.
It almost makes you wonder…if it would have felt as tantalizingly satisfying if you had not had so many losses before it. It kinda makes you wonder about the intertwining of doubt and faith. Despair and hope. Struggle and overcoming.
The beautiful mystery of it all.
Yes,
By: dianne on January 24, 2012
at 9:34 am