During my time in Bangladesh and India I saw a lot of the brokenness of our world. Mothers with small children camped out on the sidewalk, living on the streets; children wandering through cars stuck in traffic, standing at their windows begging; skin and bones bicycle rickshaw drivers toiling in the heat to earn money to feed their families…

But I saw much more than that. On the 3rd last day of my time in Dhaka I went to visit a CRWRC project working in the slums. We were dropped off on the side of the road and entered a narrow alleyway, with shacks crowding along the sides. This particular slum grew along the railway tracks and we had to walk up the tracks a ways in order to enter the site we were to visit. We climbed down a few steps and entered a small room filled with talking and laughing girls. The room was buzzing with energy! This was the Tara adolescent group. Tara means star. And they were shining.

They presented some of the skits and songs they had composed as a group. At every meeting they are taught lessons on health and cleanliness, that girls should be allowed to go to school just like their brothers, on HIV/AIDS, child labour, human trafficking and other relevant issues. The girls decided to turn each lesson into a skit/song so that they could share the things they were learning with their families, friends and neighbours. I mean it when I said they were shining! I wish you all could have sat in that room with me because it was oozing with life! It was such a contrast  to the images I had seen earlier. Poor Sanjay, the translator, he had to keep telling the girls to slow down and take turns because he couldn’t keep up with the translation.

What does this have to do with today’s advent candle?

CRWRC is working to share the good news of Christ through living out the gospel truths. And in that room in the middle of that slum I could see the hope, joy, love and peace of Christ spilling over.

These girls face daily challenges and struggles that we won’t ever be able to fully understand but in this group they are learning they can hope.

In a community where many people give up and are crushed by the weight of poverty, I saw joy.

In a culture where women are considered less than men and of no value, I saw these girls believing that they are worthy of respect and love.

And it is my prayer that one day they will know the peace that comes from the giver of all these things: Christ.

So we light this candle today to remember Christ, the source of our hope, our joy, our love and our peace.

We light this candle to celebrate that for those who call Christ Lord & Saviour, the search is over. We don’t have to wander anymore.

We light this candle to remember those who are still on the journey, searching for hope, joy, love and peace.

Unpack. laundry. pack. coffee with neighbours. boxing day shopping, eek. visit grammy. one more resume blitz. play rock band with the sibs.

Because…..

Tomorrow it’s airport run at 6am!

LA tomorrow. South Korea on Monday.

dhaka, bangladesh

I think if Christ were born today I’d look for him in the slums. Some shack off of a railroad track.

Instead of angels announcing the news to shepherds I think it’d be the children of the street or blind beggars.

Wise men? I think they’d be some kind of spiritual pilgrim, like the woman I met in the train station. She moved to India from Italy to find truth and fulfillment. She renounced her old way of life and has been living as a Hindu sadhu (monk) for the past four years.  Or maybe tourists taking in the sights and sounds of a foreign land.

It’s just been my experience that Christ shows up in the most unexpected ways. God seems to spill over in the forgotten and overlooked corners of the world. Like flowers growing in the crack of a sidewalk, the “good news” seeps into the broken places, breaks through the hardened places and surprises us with joy.

May peace wrap around you like a warm blanket, may joy bubble over in your heart, may hope be the rock you cling to and may you know love.

May you know the love that doesn’t give up. Doesn’t forget. Doesn’t let go.

May you know the love that gives unconditionally. Never runs out. Is safe. Comforts you. Believes in you. Laughs with you. Celebrates you. The love that brings out the true you, the best in you. The love that makes you warm on the inside and glow on the outside.

May you know the love that gave up to give away. The love that entered history and changed its story. The love that is too much to grasp, more than we could ever receive, deeper than our inner pain, further than we could ever run and all that we will ever need.

2 days ago I lost most of my government issued identification. A couple hours of frantic searching and they were found. I also emptied out the contents of one of my drawers and found: an expired library card, a new toothbrush still in the packaging, a greek flashcard, a  couple tealights, a permanent marker, some paper clips, old bank statements, etc, etc. I might need to organize that drawer, one of these days. And good news, I found my id. My cards were in a VERY safe place (inside an envelope tucked into the flap of a binder in the middle of a stack of papers and folders on a shelf in my closet…).

Yesterday morning I realized I was missing some of the souvenirs/xmas presents I had purchased in India. I combed through the contents of my crowded floor multiple times before finding the missing gifts.

Yesterday evening I had to search for much too long to find my journal and my Bible. Which is probably an indicator of how much I’ve used either since coming home from India.

I will still argue that my typically “messy” room is VERY organized. To the casual observer it may look scattered and unintentional but I can find anything. I think in piles not files. Honestly! But every now and then it crosses over from organized mess to disheveled chaos. And somewhere in the past day or two it crossed the line. Which means, sigh…I think it’s time to clean. 

It’s time to organize the contents of both my room and my life. Yes, it is time to finish unpacking my India luggage, to uncover the floor of my room and show off its beautiful carpet, to create a poetic place for everything and then actually place everything in its place.

And it’s time to sort through the contents of my heart. It’s been a bit cluttered as of late. A few lies here and there, some piles of insecurities, some smatterings of missing my life half-way around the world, and other messy and delightful emotions. I’m afraid the clutter’s been hiding some of the joy and peace and hope these days. It’s not that they’re missing, there’s just a lot of stuff crammed into one heart right now. But don’t worry, it’s nothing a little dusting and piling can’t fix

Yesterday I caught up with a friend. We’ve known each other since she moved next door in grade 1. We shared a seat on the bus for years, carpooled, drove each other when we got our licenses, worked crappy jobs together, gone for walks down our gravel road, been on the lookout while the other peed in the bush, and I’ll stop there

I’m no longer allowed to ring the doorbell when I visit and last night she marched straight into my room and woke me from my nap for our coffee date. The thing I love about our friendship is that having grown up together the history we have is endless. One word or look can trigger an uncontrollable fit of laughter. We’ve been friends through the awkward ugly stage, the I-hate-my-life stage, boy drama, and of course, many, many joy moments. I joke that we have no choice but to be friends because we both have so much dirt on the other!

The other thing I love about our friendship is we have the space to be ourselves. We’ve grown and changed, and every time we reconnect it’s like we get to know each other all over again. But because of the history we also know those things that will never change.

So last night we caught up at Timmy’s. Poured our hearts out while consuming delicious carbs and caffeine.

I realized it was the first time since I’ve been home that I really talked about India/Bangladesh besides my CRWRC debriefing. I mean, I’d talked about it, but hadn’t really talked about it until then. It’s funny how our friends know what we need (often better than ourselves!).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LcilL84xsQ&feature=related

Well, I sat down next to a photograph.
Tried my best, almost made her laugh.
She was my toughest crowd.
There in the way was a mountain up in the clouds.

Well, I can’t sleep and I’m not in love.
I can’t speak without messing up.
Eyes tell of what’s behind.
Hers showed the way to a long and a lonely climb.
But through failure I‘ll proceed.
And she’ll see how far I’ve come.

And it’s you and me in the sun and sea.
I’ll offer my arm to yours.
It seems to me no mystery.
It isn’t, so I’ll try hard to speak.

Well, I sat down next to a living hell.
Tried my best until I struck out.
Movement is not mine.
I stood in the way, pretending that I was the vine.
But no failure will proceed
From a mouth that drinks it’s wine.

And it’s not me, not my sanctity,
These aren’t my words to you.
It’s all clear when it’s not from here.
So clear so I’ll try not to speak.

Songs from years past

And years to come.

Side by side in the dark

Flickering lights of candles.

Glimpses of a holy night.

Heart burning, eyes watering

Faintly listen for the soft

Whisper of hope.

Weary heart, find rest

In this silent night.

I was expecting to be terrible. To spend the majority of the day falling on my behind.

The day did not start well. The alarm went off at 4:05am and I was grumpy. Why had I decided this would be a good idea? To drive 4 hours on icy/snowy winter roads in order to try a sport of which I was sure I would fail? Why on earth had I agreed to this?? So, I was grumpy.

4 hours later when I saw the mountains in the horizon my mood began to change. It’s really hard to be grumpy when surrounded by the snow-capped Rockies. Additionally, the grumpies had been replaced by mild panic. It didn’t help that my oh-so-kind older brother tried to pull my leg every chance he could by telling me about initiation triple black diamonds and the like. And of course, I fell for each one. I began eating chewy candies to calm my fears. It didn’t help.

As I was the only newbie of the bunch, the plan was that I would take lessons and join up with everyone later. However, upon arriving at the hill the earliest lesson I could get into was at noon. That didn’t seem to be a problem for my siblings. It was decided that Josh would take me up the hill and teach me. Well, first he had to teach me a few things at the bottom of the hill. Like how to strap in. How to walk with one foot strapped onto a board (sounds easy? not so much.). And then before I knew it, we were off for the chairlift. Go big or go home? Gulp.

The first hurdle. Getting off the chairlift. In order to ride the lift, one foot is strapped in the board and the other is free. To dismount, one must slide down the hill  before the chair takes you out and with the loose foot balancing on the board. Falling is not really an option. A new set of riders will be quickly coming from behind and one must be out of their way or chaos ensues. That being said all my siblings had warned me that everyone falls at the beginning. I braced myself. The chair pulled up. I stood. I slid. And somehow, I stayed standing! In shock and disbelief I manouvered towards my equally shocked brother. Of course, after my standing success, I had to sit right back down in order to strap in my second boot. But that’s not the point

I had made it up the hill. I had not been defeated by the chairlift. Now all that remained was to get down the hill. Correction, this was no hill, this was a mountain. The only thing that remained was to snowboard down the mountain. Thankfully, Josh is a great teacher. And somehow, what he said, clicked. And before I knew it I found myself snowboarding! I was once again, incredulous and shocked.

The absolute highlight of the day was when on that same first run, my older brother saw me coming down the hill and he thought I was one of my sisters (who have boarded before). When he realized it was me, he was quite surprised (In case you haven’t noticed, it seems I wasn’t the only one who didn’t have high hopes for my boarding abilities!).

I made it down the mountain. There were a few hiccups en route, a tumble here and there. But, all things considered, it was a smooth run!

And the view? Breathtaking. I will try to post a photo soon.

All that to say, it seems I have found a new love. No, it’s not the cute instructors with the Auzzie accents (By the way, who doesn’t look gorgeous in snowgear??). It’s snowboarding in the mountains.

O jet lag how I love you…

The funny thing is, as soon as I get over this, I’m going to be hopping on another plane and heading back over the pond. Dec. 27 I’m flying down to LA. Dec 28 it’s on to South Korea for a couple weeks wrapping up with LA for a few more days. It may sound a little crazy. But to me it makes perfect sense. It’ll satisfy my rice craving at the very least

But really, it’s probably made the transition home a bit easier. Because I’m home, for now…It won’t be until I come back that I’m home for…???

Ok, back to bed now.